Psychic Paul

I had my first Tarot card reading today and let me just say that I seemed to stump our dear psychic. "Think about what you're going to ask" Hilary said. What does a woman my age ask a psychic tarot card reader? The young girls were breathless with anticipation. How many children will I have? Will I meet the man of my dreams? Will my new husband and I always be together?? Boy or girl? Life stretches out before them overflowing with endless possibilities.......and psychics have all the answers. I will have to leave my girl Kathleen out of that particular generalization. She is the exception to the rule.Hilary's friend since childhood, She remained hysterically funny in her reluctance and skepticism. Any girl that will sing "Let My People Go" when removing her bra at the end of the day is a Kindred spirit.

Back to psychic Paul and the problem of what a woman my age asks. "Will I ever be able to look down and see my feet again?" "Will my thighs ever not rub together?" "is it possible to die from a hot flash?" Honestly!....I'm 46 fucking years old so that leaves out a lot. I had a wicked little idea of giving him the dogs birth date and see what he comes up with. "I see an oral fixation and a propensity to urinate out of doors" Now THAT would make me a believer.

As each person came down smiling from their reading they recounted a nagging little worry about an illness card that kept appearing. "Is someone in your family struggling with illness?" I just knew it had to be me. Is menopause an illness?......oh I think it is. "Honey, have you struggled with depression in your life?", psychic Paul asked. "Have I struggled with depression!!!!!........I'm 46 fucking years old!!!!.......there's NOTHING I haven't struggled with in my life!! (the "fucking" just seems to help....sorry)

So evidently I have a very clear aura........I'm going to meet some man who would clearly be disturbed or a glutton for punishment or recently paroled,and thinks its sexy that a woman's peache now requires a certain degree of support. I don't think so. Did he tell me that I'm learning to love my middle aged self? no Did he tell me that I will live to be a ripe old healthy age? no Did he tell me that I will lose all the weight and my breasts will not look like two sad, deflated party balloons....no.

He told me that I'm a success.....right now....just as I am......and that my work is my life........

Please excuse me while I go stick my head in the oven.

CRAP!!....electric! The best I could do is singe.

but I'll do it!!! I swear to God I will!!