Fido Fitness

So what are my fitness options here. I need to find a program that will work for me long term and there is no shortage of advertisements on TV. I can hop, swing, ski, slide,box, dance, dangle and fart my way to a slimmer trimmer me........all for an introductory price, no obligation, trial offer. WOW!!! these folks really aren't expecting me to stick with it are they? "If you hate it....send it back!...hurry!! quit!! send it back!!"

Am I the only one who HATES these infomercials. I get to see some sad fat girl who's picture was snapped just as she hoisted an Oreo Cakester to her lips. Then I get to see the newly thin girl happily holding out the waist of her old fat pants. I often visualize a large incontinent bird flying over head at that very moment. All she had to do was call in her credit card number and get the patented Tubby Bunny Abdominator 3000 with optional cellulite jiggler attachment. I will never understand what purpose the jiggling of fat serves. I think the small "results not typical" at the bottom of the screen says it all.

So back to my fitness options. I can walk my dogs and it won't cost me anything and it wont involve any battery operated jiggling and I won't have to look at Chuck Norris (are we really sure he's still alive?) and I won't have to have a stripper pole installed ("hello 911....you're not going to believe this but....") I can walk my goddamned dogs.

Nickolai and Willow love the walkies. My little sausages are trimming down right along with me. We have been working on coordinating the walk to avoid what can only be described as inadvertent, leash induced, doggie yoga (Hello 911....you're not going to believe this but.....") Willie has had to learn commands like "come around" and "forward". Nickolai has had to learn commands like "really Nick??....really??...you pissed on that stump 2 laps ago" Ahhhhhh...my boy! 2 1/2 years of obedience training have paid off. OK there is the squirrel issue but does that really count anyway?

I love walking the dogs. I never realized before what I was missing. The beautiful, tree lined path, the cool breeze, the smell of pine, the communion of woman, dog and nature, the......"good God Nickolai again??!!!?? you can't be serious!? The poop trash is like 16 miles from here!!"
I love my life....seriously.....no, I really do.