DVD fitness failure

OK.....so my Goddamned Fido Fitness program is moving right along. I'm loving walking the dogs in the evenings and God knows the dogs are enjoying it. Given the choice between getting outside and standing in my living room exercising along to a DVD, I'll vote for outside every time. The harsh reality is that mother nature occasionally intercedes and fucks up my plans........hence, the DVD fitness attempt. Yes....it was an attempt.....a sad...sorry...pitiful little attempt.

Hilary had given me a Leslie Sansone's walk fit, or walk thin, or some such thing DVD. The premise is that you basically walk in place, or march, or side step to a snappy tune while Leslie encourages you to enjoy sweating. How hard can that be?? This is me we're talking about so the answer is "plenty fucking hard"

So here I am......I have my mass in motion when I realize that for some reason my marching is wrong. My arm swinging is out of sinc with my leg stomping. "What is going on here??!!" OK, stop and roll back the DVD.....OK....the knee is up and the arm is up....oh crap...wait...was the knee down?...ok...roll it back again.....ok 1/16 speed....yes...yes...the knee is definitely down....ok.....nope.....I'm still fucking this up......ok roll it back......" It took several minutes for the sheer absurdity to sink in.

I finally decided that I was just going to go with it even though all those people on the TV were beautifully coordinated with their arm swinging shit and I was fumbling along hoping the neighbors didn't think I was having a grand mal seizure and call 911. "I can see her through her window!! Good God hurry!!...I think shes foaming at the mouth" Nope........shes just trying to WALK IN FUCKING PLACE!!!!!!

I'm feeling the burn....I'm sweating.....I'm swinging.....I'm stomping....I'm seizing......and then Leslie says "OK, that's it for the warm up......." I'm stopping......I'm quitting..........*crap*.

So I need to work my way up a bit. I have hope that eventually, with a lot of help and practice and possibly some neurosurgery, I can learn to walk in place like the rest of the fat girls. What can I say, it's a dream.

Down 15 pounds.....or 60 sticks of butter. YAY me!!