Food in a box

It never ceases to amaze me how little we, as fat girls (and fat boys), are understood by the professionals who are advising us as to proper weight loss. Let me just throw in my little disclaimer to all of you who believe in Jenny or Atkins or the latest patented lime juice and stinkbug diet. If it works for you, rock on ladies and gentleman. My main question to myself was simply; "can I maintain this plan for the long term". It took me six weeks to get back to me but I finally got a straight answer; "yes, I can".

I happened to be channel surfing the other day and came across a Dr show, whose name I won't mention Dr Oz. He was advising a very overweight gentleman as to a way to learn portion control. He suggested putting your entire days food allotment in to a box and rationing it out during the course of the day. In the box was a salmon fillet, plain yogurt, broccoli.......you get the idea. The look on this man's face was so telling........the box could just as easily had road kill laying in it and would have been a damned sight more appetizing. Look Mr doctor fella.......I really don't care that a serving of liver will give me 1/3 of my zinc requirement for the day, hate liver....not gunna eat it, and if I don't have the discipline and self control to pass on hot wings and french fries in favor of salad, what the fuck makes you think I have the discipline to pile all my food in to a box at the start of each day. SHEESH!!!!....what are you thinking???? This is helping??

I'm going to clue you TV people in here....and while I'm at it, I'll clue in all you pole dancing, stripper fitness, crop top wearing cupie fitness babes as well. Real people don't have buns of steel or six pack abs. In fact for some of us, the only thing keeping our asses from falling off altogether, is the shelf of cellulite on the back of our thighs. We are normal people who need real food. We need unctuous, we need crunch, we need flavor and texture. Eating is one of the great joys in life. It is simply not realistic that we can suck on an arugula leaf with lemon juice and feel satisfied, or that we can choke down liver when we want pork chops. Will we lose weight that way? Yes Can we maintain that way? No way.

So here again is the crux of Nancy's goddamned diet: Eat well. Make smart choices. Eliminate the crutch eating and food obsessions. Eat well again. When I want hot wings and french fries, I have them. Just not as often. I eliminated funyuns, but I can get some really satisfying crunch from baked chips. I eliminated M&M's but a sugar free chocolate pudding really hits the mark sometimes. I eliminated double cheeseburgers and french fries, but pork tenderloin and rice is just as satisfying. I'm down 26 pounds (Thats 104 sticks of butter people) without piling my food in to a box or keeping a food journal, God give me strength!!!! Can you imagine some poor family member running in to that little piece of history? "Oh look!...Great Grandma's journal. How fascinating to get a glimpse in to her life!" Six saltines, 1 bagel without butter, 1 cup of steamed carrots, 3 ounces chicken breast........

Hilary, here's your Mamas food journal: "Confessions of a Funyun Addict- The true story of Nancy's Goddamned Diet- She followed no plan save her own" and you know what? If I succeed, it's all mine,...... and if I fail?, my plan is to blame Dr Oz.

This is my life.....such as it is.