Let me clue you slender people in a little on us fat chicks. We are quite accustomed to, if in fact not embraced by, complete oblivion. We are the unseen masses. We are the overlooked and the unimportant. We are the last to get noticed ever.....under any circumstances. People for the most part would much rather we keep our round heads down and our chunky butts moving along down the line. That makes you slim folks sound like complete arrogant assholes but the truth is.........we set it up that way. Yes.......there......I said it.
At some point in our lives, we decided that we simply could not compete. So we "insulated" ourselves from those feelings of inadequacy. (Thank-you Vicki.....good word!) There is a reason for everything that ails us and that is fatness. And that my friend....is not our fault.....it's genetic.
Well here I am. Twenty pounds lighter and mad as hell. Ask me if I saw this coming. Yeah....no. I have spent a lifetime really being OK with being treated badly. Strip away all the five dollar words and it's as plain and simple as that. I simply never demanded notice......respect....kindness....tenderness.... Remember?..I'm not good enough for those things. I have only me and my security blanket of cellulite. Quietly sitting on the sidelines, trying not to be noticed lest someone discover my terrible secret. That the universe has judged me and somehow found me lacking.
I'm fucking pissed off. All the rage and buried indignation are unfurling inside like a pirate flag. What do I do with all of this anger? Is this what self-esteem feels like? Good God!....I hope not.
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