A beautiful day in the neighborhood

So here we are. Spring has arrived and it's time to shake loose the winter blahs and get some serious work done. Today, I cleaned the debris out of the front yard. I have one little poofy pink blossom tree in my front yard. I don't even know what it's called but every year, my neighbors watch me rake obscene volumes of fallen leaves. That's because my yard is party central for every easily wind blown bit of trash in the neighborhood. It all stops here people. I get your newspapers, bills, love letters, and candy wrappers. I get your cigarette butts and beer cans. And I get your leaves.......all of your leaves. My little ornamental who-haw produces upward of 12 large bags of leaves every year ( she said sarcastically). The bag I removed today was the final remnants of everyone's un raked leaves from shortly before the first snow.

On the positive side; snow melts faster here on the sunny side of the street. So take that shit. There is an evil little aspect of my personality that enjoys watching the snow plow push the snow back in to your parking place. In my mind....it all balances out. It's not that I dislike my neighbors. I will always be as nice as I can be. I may reserve the right to silently speculate as to your seeming aversion to name brand anti-perspirants. I may wonder why you choose to step outside for a smoke without a shirt on. What is it with men and bare chests!? are shirts really that uncomfortable?? I might quietly envy your ability to walk right past the "no pets allowed" sign at the playground and put your dog in there for a romp. If I were to try that with my history of being "ye of perpetual witnesses" I'm sure the local police would arrive along with backup and a camera crew from channel 5.

The truth is that for the most part, I'm entirely too engaged in the train wreck that is my own life to really notice you much at all. I can honestly say without fear of contradiction that police helicopters have flown over head.....arrests have been made......sting operations engaged in and gunshots fired much without me even noticing. I tend to hear about them after the fact from friends and co workers who can't believe that I'm really that oblivious. Believe it folks. In my house......I'm in my own world where I find comfort and peace. I don't even willingly let the mail come in to my burrow. It sits in the box until my very nice postal carrier puts a post-it on my door asking me to empty it. Bad things come in the mail.

My neighbors are mostly nice, hard working blue collar types who happen to occasionally run afoul of the law. Hey!....no neighborhood is perfect after all. In the long run it matters not because my capacity for oblivion far out matches yours for drama. I'm happy to paint and post and watch I Love Lucy while the lawmen conduct a thorough search for that escaped convict. I may or may not notice. Mostly not.