Pee pee feet

Can I just tell you that there are times in my life where I'd just prefer to be one of those stern looking middle aged women with perfectly clean houses. I'd be involved in church activities and I'd make cakes and cookies and I'd have doilies on the furniture. Instead I'm a veterinary surgical assistant and I have a house full of animals who are mostly assholes. Lovable assholes, but assholes nonetheless. I love what I do for the most part,but I've had my feet peed on twice so far this week and it's only Tuesday. It makes me pause and reflect upon my career choices if not my choice of foot apparel. Crocs are wonderfully comfortable for a busy girl on the go,but do little to deflect spontaneous urination.

I have been on a mission to get my life and my health and my....what?.......finances??....I guess....under something that seems like,if not actually akin to,something possibly resembling control....maybe. It's days like these where I'm dealing with a 3 pound weight GAIN after a weekend that included 2 lunches out,that I seriously wonder what the fuck I'm doing here. Can I just interject that being peed on is only one small part of being bled on and lactated on and managing to catch a forcefully ejected beagle placenta with one ungloved hand.........and it's only Tuesday. So I had an extra half a goddamned cheeseburger!!! did I really need a 3 pound smack upside my head for that!? Can the Gods not cut me a little slack here!!!

Oh.....I'm sorry......do I sound ungrateful?? Just because I was not blessed with all the qualities that I'm sure you're all sick and tired of hearing about, but have been blessed with a terribly high tolerance for grossness of all shapes, varieties and enticing aromas!??. I'm feeling sorry for myself, and discouraged, and I want some Funyuns, but I must be strong and re dedicate myself to my goddamned diet. Let me just tell you that it's not easy tonight. Did I not eat salad!? Did I not pass up the chocolate peanut butter brownies!?! Did I not even touch the sugar cookies!? Do I not have pee pee feet today!?!Did Nickolai not jump in my car after stepping in his own poop!?! Can I have a little amen here people?!?

OK.... breathe Nancy. Tomorrow is another day, and who knows what wonders may be in store if I hold firm and keep a smile on my face. Maybe at the end of my life there will be a bonus for all my good work. Maybe God will look at me and bless me for lending aid and comfort to countless sweet and soulful animals and for making a difference in their little lives. Oh Hell!....who am I kidding!....this is me we're talking about here. He'll probably say "beauty catch on that placenta Nance"

Thanks......'preciate it.