The Bridal Shower

My task was very clearly defined. I was to see to it that Hilary did not arrive at Jennifer's house before 3:00 p.m. I was to bring chips and dip. I was to call when we were a mile or so out and ask if Jennifer needed me to bring anything. This was the signal for all the guests to assemble for the approaching "surprise" My family informed me that I was not to break, sprain, or otherwise damage my person in any way, shape, or form. Knowing my lack of planning abilities and general obliviousness, they felt it best that I not be burdened with anything more.

Now I'd like you to travel back in time with me, approximately 36 hours prior to "surprise!!"

I woke up Friday morning with a clear plan in mind. I'd hope work wasn't too crazy, (a lot to ask on the Friday before a holiday weekend), stop for chips and dip on the way home, and call Vicki to arrange a shopping trip for a gift for the shower....and maybe a nice lunch before meeting Hilary to head off to her bridal shower destiny. Now I'd like you to pause and consider the fact that this is me we're talking about here.

An innocent flush of the toilet Friday morning caused a cascading overflow. I stood dumbfounded and dis believing as the toidy water continued to flow. Once my feet could move, I began gathering towels to throw in to lake Michigan which was rapidly forming on my bathroom floor. A sprint down to the dryer for more towels put me in a prime position to observe the toidy water running down my dining Room light fixture and on to the table. I ran faster to the basement and was doing pretty damned good for the "graceful as an epileptic three-legged Rhinoceros" kinda girl that I am, until I fell on the stairs on the way up. Towels flew, water flowed, and my pinky finger crumpled under the weight of my ill-advised trip.

I sopped, cursed, and 409'd my way through both rooms, threw the nasty towels in the bath tub, and ran out to work with my swollen and purple pinky finger throbbing. Work was no better. A string of holiday emergencies kept us all running. As you all know.....if Rover is gonna have a crisis, it will be late at night or on a holiday weekend. I worked until late in the evening. No chips and dip. I just came home and gathered the toidy towels and mopped and pine-sol'd. I'll stop for chips and dip in the morning on the way to Vicki's.

The next morning, the day of the shower, started innocently enough with a romp at the ponds with the dogs. I got a nice early start. I had a lot to do before the big event. willow is lagging behind a little as usual........then........where's Willie!? I searched and called for an hour before I panicked and called for help. Hilary and several others joined what was turning out to be a full on hard target search for a dim-witted but lovable white dog who had chased a bunny in to the woods and got lost.

The eventual finding of Willie 5 hours later involved a convoluted series of events that simply deserves a blog of it's own. That story will come presently. The point being that I lost 5 hours. No chips,no dip, no gift, broken finger, two exhausted dogs, and a sincere hope that the people who love me can manage to love me anyway.

Hilary had a lovely shower and understood completely her "most likely to lose her car in the parking lot, knocker down of store mannequins, nine workable fingers" mother. She loves me anyway and would rather have my help with the seating chart project and my company during the endless pre-wedding appointments than a crock pot..........thankfully.

I can be nothing other than what I am....even if that happens to be a three legged epileptic rhinoceros with two bad dogs and a faulty toilet.