A stranger in a strange land

I took a brief pause in blogging to allow for station identification. Actually, the truth is that between the art show and the approaching wedding, I've been ever so slightly distracted. I have discovered that an entire universe of events planning exists that I had absolutely no knowledge of. It includes topics and details ranging from coordinating the arrival of the caterers to mesh with the arrival of the linens and chair covers requiring the tying of decorative sashes. It includes determining what the photographer might like to eat and at what table he might be seated. Let me just tell you that my part consisted of sitting quietly in the office trying not to say anything too inappropriate or have any sudden eruptions of unauthorized intestinal gas. I am a stranger in a strange land.

It has and will take every moment of the yearlong engagement to pull off this wedding. As a gentle reminder to all of who may not know my daughter, the inventor of the "half-birthday" patent pending, the initiator of the "birthday week" whereupon gifts are gladly and graciously accepted, Hilary's wedding is going to be a production to say the least. A two day extravaganza of well coordinated packing and unpacking of boxes containing scentless candles and favors ( with detailed instructions accompanying each box) and flower deliveries and hair and make-up. Her exceptional organizational skills are in full swing.

I am the loose cannon in the equation. The un knowable....the indeterminate faller of down. did I mention that I recently fell down in my own house over a piece of cat furniture that's been in the same location for a millenia. On our recent trip to pick up my doublewide trailer shoes at the bridal boutique, Hilary insisted that I try on the shoes and walk around a while in an effort to gauge my falling down potential. There is also the holding of a lit candle in the general vicinity of heavily hairsprayed bridesmaids causing no small amount of concern. I am a stranger in a strange land...........and I have fire.

My only hope is that my wonderful and brilliantly funny daughter will have the wedding day of her dreams, and that my guardian angels, who were decidedly absent this morning at McDonalds when the drive thru speaker died just as I reached it with no less than 15 cars behind me awaiting my decision to pull around without having placed my order after a few "heeeelloooooo" s thank you very much, will be on full alert and ever watchful that I don't break any bones or ignite any of the wedding party. You guys are still allowing weird shit to happen to me on a regular basis may I just say........Don't hate....I'm just sayin.

I am a stranger in a strange land after all, and I need all the help I can get.