Road Rage

As we all know, I'm not the most aggressive driver in the world. Hilary is convinced that my driving style exists simply and exclusively to annoy her. I've said it before people.......my most comfortable speed of choice is 50 mph. For me to hit 60.......well.......you can pretty much count on a pronounced lack of blood flow to my fingers as they clutch the wheel in a sweaty panic. It's getting worse as I age. I drive along with my mothers scowl on (sorry Mom...it's true) Mom would frown as she drove, and be utterly oblivious to any and all attempts to wave or otherwise attract her attention. I catch a glimpse of my scowl face in the rear view at times, and try hard not to make it appear to other motorists that I'm having a colonoscopy while driving 50 on Rt 15.

Hilary, on the other hand, is a maestro motorist. She cruises along with a confidence born of her no nonsense, tell it like it is approach to everything in her life. I am in awe of Hilary the driver. So we are coming back from a lovely pedicure and heading to dinner when a driver suddenly speeds up to whip around her to exit the highway. Hilary maintains her cool and glances over at the offending individual with a cold and disapproving eye.

Then it happens again at the next exit...........

Hilary rolls down her window...."REALLY!!? SERIOUSLY!??" she yells across the atmosphere. We continue along having merged in to the left lane to avoid the cluster fuck that is rush hour exiting of the highway. Our exit to the restaurant is coming up. Hilary merges back in the the right hand lane. "THIS IS ME GETTING READY TO EXIT IN PLENTY OF TIME.......WATCH AND LEARN PEOPLE!!!" We are almost to our exit when another car is cut off. Hilary rolls down my window and yells "HONK......AT.......HIM!!!!!!" "HONK.....AT......HIM!!!!" It seems her annoyance at traffic brings out her protective side as well.

I sit quite peacefully in the passenger side........trying not to wear my mothers driving face just in case it happens when I'm riding as well. I trust Hilary completely to get us to a relaxing dinner in one piece. she exits the car without even the slightest residual effect of the treacherous trek we just completed.

I pause and reflect a moment

Were it me driving..........I would have stayed glued in the right hand lane going 45 mph, at least 14 car lengths away from the car in front of me, compromising blood flow to my extremities, all while enjoying a psychic colonoscopy that reads on my face like a jowly jack-o-lantern.

I'm good.

You drive.