Bonus loss!

I decided that it would probably be a good idea to hop on the scales this morning. I wasn't expecting any great result, in fact, I stepped up and shut my eyes in order to prepare for the worst. After all, I hadn't checked my weight since the last blizzard. I braced myself and looked down. Imagine my surprise at finding a 3 pound weight loss. How in the hell did that happen. You all may have noticed a certain lack of focus on my weight loss lately. Not many sticks of butter being tallied.

Once again, I've discovered something new in this my Goddamned Diet adventure. Somehow along the way...much without me even noticing it.....I seem to have adjusted to my new eating habits and made the change. I no longer try to work myself up to exercising, but actually enjoy the fact that I can take a nice long walk without feeling the need to wheel along an oxygen bottle. I no longer crave McDonalds double cheeseburgers or Funyuns. OK...so honestly, Funyuns I haven't been brave enough to try again. The memory of eating entire bags before bed are too fresh and the danger of relapse looms large.

Do I realize that this makes me an incredibly annoying commodity? Why yes I do. This is not what I would have wanted to hear 7 months ago. "Blah blah blah Oprah bullshit shut the fuck up and pass the chocolate cake" I can't tell you how much I hate testimonials. All of those slouching, miserable looking fat people who tell me how much better their life is since they discovered the grapefruit/ex-lax diet and lost 300 pounds. I can't surf past the channel fast enough. Somewhere along the line, I actually made a "lifestyle change" Didn't see that one coming.

What I did expect was that my life would all fall in to place once I had lost some weight. This is a typical fat girl idea. Yeah.........no. My life still sucks and I'm still broke and someone is still pooping in my shower and I still wake up most mornings feeling like the train pulled out and I somehow forgot to board. We have this idea that thinner people have cornered the market on happiness and if we can just fucking get there..........Sorry ladies. Oh how I wish it were true.

so here it is....35 pounds...that's 140 sticks of butter. I know I could have lost 180 pounds in 6 months on the banana/motor oil diet but I'm good...........really.