Adventure at Hilary's House: Part Duh

So in our most recent "storm of the century" I again went to Hilary's house to ride out the storm. Our first big storm this year was a 15 incher which we all ooohh'd and aahhh'd over. We are hearty snow people here in the Northeast and we had a chirpy attitude about moving that first, light as air, snowfall. Then came the 22 incher, and a week later, the 25 incher. There is not a snow shovel to be had in the tri-state area, and you are likely to get knocked to the ground for an unwelcome "'enough snow for ya?!"

Storm of the century number three was a nightmare of heavy snow and gale force winds creating drifts that had to be seen to be believed. Hilary and the dogs and I settled in for a day or two of reading and muffin making. Little did we know at the time that a monster snow drift was being born on the road to my "empty aside from the cats" townhouse. I worried that I hadn't put enough food down for them, and I worried about my roof, and I worried about digging out...or in. I knew I had a big job ahead of me and was anxious to get at it.

On the morning of the third day, the wind had died down and the sky was bright blue, so I decided to leash up the dogs first thing and brave the walk home. If the drift hadn't been cleared yet....I'd just turn back. Keep in mind here, that I am the reigning queen of the ill-advised venture. I get to the drift and it's about 10 feet high. "There are foot prints in the snow.......well hell!! ...I can get over that" Visualizing a mound that goes up on one side and down on the other....sorta like Charlie Brown's pitchers mound....I headed up.

What I found upon reaching the top, was a 30 to 40 foot expanse of snow drift. A no-man's land of snow. Even knowing that where I go, weirdness follows, I made the "worthy of the ignoramus hall of fame" decision to head across the great divide. The first 10 feet were without incident. The dogs were loving it. Then I took a step and sunk in to my knees. So here's the thing about deep snow: There's nothing to push against to right yourself. Good to know.

I have time to contemplate my place in the universe standing there like that. My first plan was to flop over like a beached tuna and roll across the drift. My next thought was a run through of the call I'd have to make to 911. "Yeah....I'm stuck in the snow on Emmitsburg road" "just stay in your car ma'am...we'll get to you as soon as we can" "Yeah....no car....I'll be the top two thirds of a person waving her cell phone" The possibility for embarrassment of that magnitude inspired my next plan.

I called Nickolai from his frolicking and made him "down" next to me and pushed off him to get out of the snow. It was in this fashion that he and Willie and I crossed the drift. Two and a half years of obedience training saved my sorry ass that should have known better after 47 years on this planet. I get through my neighborhood utterly exhausted from the journey only to find a four foot drift in front of my door. I put the dogs in the half of my car not buried in snow and begin pushing...stomping...and flailing...a path through the drift. I unlock my door and collapse on my back in the entry.

As I'm laying there, attempting to catch my breath, I'm aware of a lack of sensation in my feet and a congregation of cats making yummy noises while walking on me. Yup....they are out of food. I get the dogs in the house and assess my feet. So here's the thing about Crocs.......not so helpful in snow. Good to know. Is it possible that I'm really that sooopid?........why yes it is. The thawing process was not one I'd like to experience again.

Will Hilary ever have me back again? Hard to say. There was the peeing on the curtains thing....and the throwing up on the bedroom floor thing........and the dogs misbehaved too.