So I sat down last night to write an entry here. Three hours later, I deleted the whole mess. When I can't write about whats on my mind because I'm too distracted by what's really on my mind, it's time to step back and breathe. My plan was to write about those "super morbidly obese" programs on TLC that I can't look away from. You know the ones where they surgically remove a hundred pound "fat pad" from some guy's inner thigh after they cut a hole in his house to crane lift him out of bed? As wonderfully thin and waif-like as those programs make me feel by comparison,(and I do feel guilty about that) it was not the uppermost issue on my mind.
This blog is nothing if it's not honest. Painfully honest. I'm just a little ashamed to admit that the big issue of late has been............my hair. That being said and effectively off my chest, lets take a brief moment to condense the history of my hair shall we?: pig tails as a kid, curly and dark as a young woman ( and quite fabulous at the time) and wavy graying now. I've worn it pulled back in a ponytail for the last.......hmmmmmmm.....25 years maybe.
Suddenly on a whim, Hilary took a flat iron to it and my thinning hair with the curl steadily failing, fell flat as a board. I looked like Jennifer Aniston if she was a middle aged fat woman. The most recent hair compliment coming from the girl at the pharmacy who gave me my blood pressure medicine. Who'd have thought that my hair, grey and getting greyer as it is, could garner such response!? I got a thumbs up from the freakin' bag boy at the Food Lion!
So here's the deal.....my hair has been the same for so long, that one little change has set me center stage. What does this say about my life? I can hardly believe I'm about to say this, but I've been more confident and self assured. I smile more. I've begun marketing my paintings and they've started selling. un-fucking-believable. Seems I've been in a hairstyle rut for the last 25 years and now that I've emerged.......the sun is shining and little cartoon blue birds are singing around my heralded head.
So how long do you figure I'll need to flat-iron my hair before I'm a wealthy painter/writer being profiled on "Lifestyles of the Super-Fabulous"? Do you suppose if I get my eyebrows done, I'll get a book deal? 'cause I'll do that yanno. Is the universe really this ridiculous or is it just me? Do you think a 24k toidy is a little over the top? Damn people!!!.....if I'd have known all I had to do was straighten my hair, I'd have done it two.......or even 3 weeks ago!!
"Airing next on TLC......Nancy's story......the tale of a woman who's hair remained unchanged for 25 years. See how she finally gets her life in some semblance of order once she tames her ragged lockes. See how she smiles a lot and thanks clients and cashiers for the compliment. Watch as the world finally accepts her.......and her hair."
"......and at 9:00, The One Ton Teen...... Watch as David spends $40.00 a day on chocolate bars. Watch as the surgeons remove 170 pounds from his abdomen so he can finally sit upright. Watch as he loses 400 pounds in 4 months because his mother has stopped enabling even though all women are evil"
Where do I sign
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